Read about Cole and his story.

So lately I’ve been feeling a little discouraged, until today.  I haven’t really gotten much traffic through my blog and I just want to be able to reach out to some people.

Today I decided why don’t I look at some other epilepsy blogs and see what other people are writing about because I feel as though I’ve run out of things to talk about, everyone knows who I am, they know about my diagnosis and what has happened since, but what else do they really need to know?

I browsed some blogs today.  I came across one blog that truly brought tears to my eyes.  http://beatingepilepsy.blogspot.com/ I am telling everyone to go read about Cole who has been struggling with seizures since he was a baby and is now going to be a big brother.   

As I was reading Cole’s blog today (his mom writes for him obviously because he’s not old enough) I started thinking “This is exactly what I had mentioned some posts long ago.”  This little boy has been struggling since he was only 10 months old, I’ve only been going through this since I was 17.  Just like I said once before that I don’t have it that bad because at least I got to live an epilepsy free life and remember it.

I can’t even imagine what Cole’s parents have had to go through and how much stress his mom is under especially now that they have another baby on the way.  I know if I were her I would be terrified.  I read that the doctor told her she had to take lots of folic acid just to be cautious.  I already know that if I ever decide or can have children with my condition I will have to take much more folic acid than what I am already taking.  Even though I don’t have a significant other (yet) I still worry about my future.  Will I be able to have kids?  One doctor already told me I can’t but my other doctor said I can but I would have to be monitored and wouldn’t be able to experience a normal pregnancy.  I’m afraid because what happens if I have a seizure while being pregnant, what can happen to the child?  Or what if my baby ends up having epilepsy too?

All of these questions scare me into NOT wanting to ever have children and just adopting when the time is right.  I know I shouldn’t be looking so far ahead but sometimes I do think about it because well I am 25, a few more years and I will want to settle down.

Maybe by the time I want to have my own family there will be something out there that will ease my “what if’s.”

I strongly urge everyone to go read about Cole, it will change your life.