Stressed again.

Well I haven’t really written in here in a few days.  I feel like no one is reading this anyway.  I did want to mention how super stressful I’ve been lately.  I know I already talked about it last week but I found out some more bad news and I’ve been stressed ever since.  I hate being stressed because I’m always worried I’m going to end up having a seizure or something.

This week has been a little easier at work however it’s been a little difficult in my personal life.  I wish I could be five again where there was not a care in the world. 

I might sound kind of depressing but truth is my previous doctor wanted to put me on anti depressants because he wanted to diagnose me with depression, but I didn’t want more medication so I refused to take it.  I think I’m fine, I only ever get upset every once in a while.  Kind of trying the whole mind over body but really mind over mind/brain.  I’m not sure if that makes ANY sense haha.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a great week.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to the greatest dad a girl could possibly have.  Even though I am my dad's height in heels I was always carry the title of "Daddy's Little Girl."  He came to the United States at 25 (same age I am now) to start a new and better life for him and his wife and in the future for his children.  My mom followed him shortly after because it took her forever to get her Visa to leave Poland so her and my dad actually had to get married 3 times in order to prove that they are actually married.  Well 30 years later they are still happily married and have two kids, myself and my brother.
When my dad came here he didn't know English so he started to teach himself.  He read many books and even though he could only speak a few sentences he tried looking for jobs, even if they were dead end ones just to be able to put food on the table.  Well my dad's first job here in the states was working at a gas station for very little money, but he did it. 

After that my dad knew enough English to get a college degree since the one he had from Poland didn't count for anything.  He managed to get his degree and landed a really good job working in his field; computer graphics.  He slowly worked his way to the top and now all those Lancome advertisements you see, yup my dad has worked on those :)

I'm very proud to call him my daddy aka Tatusiu, he has worked so hard for so many years and I hope one day I can give back to him as much as he gave to me.  When my grandfather passed away (his dad), he made a few major promises to me and my dad fulfilled them for him in his absence.  I will never forget all of the sacrifices both him and my mom made for me and well I guess my brother too hehe.

I hope you have a good Father's Day daddy, Wszystkiego Najlepszego z okazji Dzien Taty!!

Love always,
Misia

Stress Free? Maybe one day.

As some of you know my epilepsy is caused by a few different things but one being stress.  Good news is I didn’t have any problems, not even twitches this week and I think it’s been the most stressful week since I was getting all of my EEG tests back in January/February.  However I’m glad I handled everything the way I did.  Don’t get me wrong I’m exhausted but at least like I just won a small battle.

The whole time all of this was happening I kept thinking in my head “don’t worry, be happy.”  I love that song, the Bob Marley version is my favorite I think.  Apparently that was the first song I ever danced to (on all fours in a diaper with my butt kind of shaking) when I was younger.  So I guess I’ll leave everyone with Don’t worry Be happy!

Rest Easy

I just realized I haven’t written in here for about a week.  I’ve been so busy and exhausted.  The weekend was also pretty busy.  I was my mom’s chauffeur haha.  I really had no choice because over the weekend my dad noticed a bubble in my tire, meaning I had no car to drive.  However, I do get a really nice courtesy car until my car is fixed!

So I got my MRI results back for my knee.  I don’t know if I wrote about how I was getting an MRI.  Well, no surgery is required (yippeeeee) but I do have to go to physical therapy.  I have some muscular syndrome (it starts with a c and it’s really long) that is causing my muscles to play tug of war and in doing this they are playing tug of war with my knee cap so it lifts from side to side.  Then there’s some damaged cartilage that can be strengthened.  Apparently it is very common in athletes (which I was super athletic growing up) because they don’t stretch correctly or when they train/work out they don’t work all the muscles they are supposed to.  So one side of my knee is tough and the other side is so weak that my knee cap has actually shifted to that side.  Apparently the same thing is happening with the other knee too but there’s no damaged cartilage making it super painful.

Oh and I have a gaglian cyst on my wrist.  I’m just falling apart.  The doctor said it seems benign for now but to keep an eye on it because if it starts to hurt or impair the usage of my wrist then I need to get it drained/removed.  It hurts a little but not enough to impair any type of movement.

Either way for now I’m somewhat healthy and that’s all that matters really.  Happy Monday everyone!

Sunshine

Last week I was called a bottle of sunshine by one of my co-workers and one of my managers.  I feel as though at my job I am finally appreciated and recognized for the work and positive attitude I put in.  In past jobs, I was never recognized for anything that I did that I finally just didn’t care anymore and stopped going above and beyond unless if it would help a customer.  This brought me down not only at work, but also in life in general.  I started to think, am I really that bad of a person?  Do I really not do enough?  So I started being somewhat mopey for a while.  Kind of like eeyore!

I think the negative energy traveled from work into my personal life and that was not healthy whatsoever.  That’s why with my job now I have decided anything bad that happens will not come home with me and the next day I will start all over again.

Anyway, I was called a bottle of sunshine not only by people in my department, but one of the other departments as well, all because I say Good Morning.  I’m trying to have a new take on life in general.  When it comes to work, I will work as hard as I possibly can.  After work is when I have my life.  I will not let anything negative spill over to my personal life, as well as no personal things coming to the workplace.  I think that’s why I’m so positive because I block out certain things and I let a lot of things go.  Which can also be bad because I can easily get taken advantage of.  However, I feel that I’d rather be this way than what I was before.  It’s really not that hard to be happy, at least for me.  I have a loving and supportive family, a dog who loves me unconditionally, a job, and just enough friends.

I know there are people out there who have it much worse than I do, therefore I have no reason to be negative.  Sure I could be negative living with epilepsy and having to be technically somewhat disabled for the rest of my life, but I’m very positive.  Maybe it’s just my personality but being a bottle of sunshine makes for such a better life!