The Aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.

So I went down the shore today.  Oh by the way apparently only NJ people say down the shore, not sure why that is but it's our own little "thing."  I haven't really talked about my location much but I live in New Jersey.  No I am NOT like the Jersey Housewives or the Jersey Shore cast, actually NJ really isn't like that, at least all of NJ.  I wanted to show my readers the pictures from the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy because the severity of an event like this just makes me realize how fortunate I am.  Don't get me wrong Hurricane Sandy affected me too, we lost 4 of our largest pine trees and one actually fell on my brand new car and we didn't have heat or power for 2 weeks but we managed.  I know my community was really bad after Sandy hit but to see the Jersey shore look this way made me want to cry.  The shore is what I went to every summer with friends and what I always looked forward to.  That little piece of serenity is now gone.  I will forever remember the shore as my place to escape and my mini vacation and I am proud to be from an area that recovered so quickly and from a state that helped every bit that they could.  RESTORE THE SHORE, JERSEY STRONG!!  I honestly started to hate NJ because of all those stupid reality shows that gave us such a bad reputation but I love the shore and I love NJ, God bless the Jersey shore.

We are almost there Jersey! :) Jersey strong.

I wanted to share something.

From today's lovely adventure in the woods helping to clean up I wanted to add two beautiful pictures of nature at it's finest.  Then I'll show exactly what I helped clean up.  I have no idea why people have to dump their garbage everywhere, especially the garbage I found.

And then this is what I helped clean up...

At the end of this clean up we found 30 TIRES!!!  How can people do this?

The way I see it there are the bad people who dump all of this and the good people who clean it up.  I'm proud of what was accomplished today and that thank you from the people who actually reside in that town after was the best compensation I could have gotten.

Saving the world one action at a time.

I always said that I wanted to give back to the world.  There are so many different ways to do good for people.  I hope that this blog is somewhat helping even if it’s one person.  I say this because tomorrow I am doing my first volunteer work on my own.  What I mean is, it’s not required to graduate from high school or college or it’s not an after school club to get some brownie points.  I’m simply doing it because I want to.

If this would have been a few years ago I would say why would you dedicate time that you can have to yourself to cleaning up someone else’s mess or doing anything else without getting paid for it.  Regardless of what the volunteer work is and even though you don’t get compensated with money you get compensated other ways.  You feel good that you did something selfless for someone else and in the process you helped someone else.  Also it’s a small world, who knows what will happen when you volunteer.  You will meet new friends, or what I’m hoping for is to meet someone I can help.

If I could I would help everyone in the world but I have to start one thing at a time.  I wish that I could volunteer more with anything having to do with epilepsy awareness but I hope this blog will be a good start, at least for now.

I’m very excited to volunteer.  I’ll be cleaning up a river and a park so as long as I don’t see too many snakes I will be fine.

To any one reading this, if you are feeling upset about your epilepsy and even if you are mad at the world, maybe doing something good is the best thing you can do to get your mind off it.  Try to fill your life with positive energy, it helps with your emotions.

I made a bucket list a few months back because I was feeling very down and saving the world (I know very unreasonable) was one of the things to check off along with talking about my epilepsy so since I’ve already done one I guess I can start a check mark for the other.  I purposely made unreasonable goals because MAYBE just maybe there is a way to achieve that goal somehow.  Set goals for yourself, it helps you focus on something else in your life other than your epilepsy and how much your life has changed.

A letter to my parents

I wanted to take the time to write this post as a letter to any parents of epileptic children reading this.  This is a letter that I would have written to my parents when I was/am going through being diagnosed, hospital visits, and losing control of my own body.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know the past almost 8 years have been a pretty bumpy and good ride.  It has already been 8 years since my first official episode and almost 8 years since I’ve been diagnosed.  To think it’s already been that long.  I know that even though I’m 25 (almost 26 wow time flies), you still worry every day about me in general as well as my epilepsy.  You don’t have to worry so much even though you feel it’s your job to as a parent. 

I know that when I had my first episode you weren’t too alarmed except for the fact that I could have severely injured myself on that bathroom floor, because you thought I had just simply fainted.  It wasn’t until the second time that both of you were concerned.  I know that when I was diagnosed your world completely stopped at a standstill and you didn’t know what to do next.  I know you tried to hide it very well but I still know these things, I can tell when something’s not right with you two.  Don’t worry you weren’t the only ones.  When I heard the word diagnosis I was worried and then when it was attached to epilepsy my world stopped and I thought it was over.

Even though I thought my world was over, I knew I couldn’t show it and I had to be strong not only for myself but you two as well.  When the doctor started scaring you guys I tried to ignore it and I tried to act as normal as possible so the both of you could take a deep breath.

Since I told myself I had to be strong I actually taught myself that I can still go on with my life, it wasn’t until dad asked me “do you want to hold off on going to school this semester?” that I realized this was more serious than what I really imagined.  Sure I was upset, stressed, and in shock that I couldn’t be a normal 17 year old and I couldn’t drive but I tried my hardest to be normal in front of you two.  Even though I tried so hard once I was asked that question it all hit me a second time, all of those emotions started coming back.  The questions of will I ever be normal started to come back and what did I do so wrong in life to deserve this was the next question that haunted me.

I decided to continue with school because I knew the both of you had put so much effort into comforting me and trying to tell me I will live a normal life even if you were trying to convince yourself of the same.  I’m glad I had the both of you as a support system because I don’t know where I would be right now if I didn’t have the both of you.  Sure we’ve had our differences and many fights that we’ve gotten into the past 8 years have resulted in something about my epilepsy, from both myself and the both of you, but  I still appreciate everything you have done for me and every form of support you have given me through all of this.  I love you both and one day I wish I can repay you somehow for what you’ve done for me.

Love always,

Your Daughter

P.S.  Stop worrying so much about me I’m fine!

Having a peace of mind

Please forgive me for lately not talking about my epilepsy.  I just want to talk about how other things in life have helped me out.  In my opinion my epilepsy medication can only do so much.  It will help control my seizures/episodes/twitches/jerks, but does it help my peace of mind or me in general?  I mean maybe anti depressants can help but the way I see it I don’t want to be taking more medication than I already am.  That’s why I do yoga as I posted in a previous post.  It’s also a reason why I still go out and have fun with friends even though I’m limited to how long I can stay out and how much sleep I have to get. 

When I moved to Texas I bought my dog Lilly Savannah, Lilly for short, as I’ve mentioned before.  Not only did she save my life more than once but she saved my peace of mind.  When I was in Texas I was homesick but I was also afraid of being an epileptic living on my own in an area where I don’t know anyone and no one knows me, so what would happen if I had a seizure?  I rescued Lilly because we just had a connection (I know really corny) when I saw her at the shelter.  She was one of the last kennels and I originally wanted nothing to do with a female dog because I’ve only ever had male dogs and I heard how protective females were and I wasn’t sure if a protective female rescue dog was a good idea.

Needless to say when I saw her I fell for those puppy eyes and I brought her home.  She had a million ticks crawling all over her so I removed 8 ticks and took her to the vet the very next day for a checkup.  I wanted to make sure the animal I just fell in love with was going to be ok for a while.  Having Lilly those first few weeks and going back and forth to the shelter and vet and the town to get her license kept my mind off of a lot.  I felt like I had a furry child.  She helped me stay awake for the whole ride back home once I decided to move back.

Ever since I got that little puggle (pug/beagle mix) my life has changed.  I’m more responsible and I enjoy life more.  When I come home from work and I see her all excited it makes my day so much brighter.  I want to train her to be one of those dogs that helps epileptics because they say they can sense when you’re about to have an episode.  I haven’t had one with her yet but I did pass out in the bathtub with the water running and she was there and got help for me so I already trust her enough with my life.  She also saved me from someone trying to break into my apartment so I think she’s a pretty trustworthy dog.

My dog changed my life and has brought so much joy to it.  She literally walked into my life at the right time.  I always say timing is everything and in this case it definitely was good timing.  I’m not saying that everyone should go out and buy a dog or adopt a rescue but find something that truly makes you happy.  Some people sing, others paint and that makes their day that much better.  Some people even shop or work out to make them happy.  It’s all up to the person.  Always make sure that whatever you are trying will not jeopardize your health in any way or cause you to seizure.  Try to smile at least once a day and maybe that’s all you need to stay happy.

To everyone in Boston...

I have my brother (who lives in Boston) and the rest of Boston, victims, and people impacted by this tragedy in my prayers.

Also R.I.P. Officer Sean Collier.  You and your family are in my prayers, and I thank you for all that you did in Boston. 

At one point today, please everyone take a moment of silence for Officer Collier and the rest of the victims of this horrible ongoing attack.

Yoga and how it can help

Ever think that maybe if our brains are out of whack we should just take a deep breath and relax?  That is why I started yoga.  I used to do ballerina as a child and it helped with another health condition that I have; asthma.  The doctor told my parents that if I can work on my posture and I get regular exercise it would open up my lungs and it’s something I can enjoy.  Well needless to say I became a ballerina up until sophomore year of high school and I even did pointe the last few years I danced.  The doctor was right, it did help my asthma calm down.  I went from having to use the nebulizer twice a day and have my inhaler ready every time I went to gym class, went out to recess, or if there was too much dust in the air, to only having sports induced asthma that is not as serious as it was back when I was 6 years old.  Now when I go running I just have to take one puff before I run and I’m fine. 

With all of that being said, my neurologist had mentioned that maybe instead of constantly being worried that I was going to have a seizure maybe I should just calm down and relax, start with meditation.  I didn’t listen up until I accidentally had to take a yoga class.  I needed an elective in college and decided I’d take the yoga class.  It changed my whole perspective and the doctor was right.  It was my hour of me time where I was in a bubble and nothing else mattered.  The meditation the instructor taught us actually helps me go to sleep nowadays if I can’t because I have too much on my mind.  I kept up with doing yoga at home whenever I could and I actually ended up taking the class again two semesters later.  Again I tried to keep up with it after but I didn’t start up again until I found out my job offers it to us.  I love yoga and everything about it because it’s where I can free my mind and just let go of everything in the world.  When I’m in that class nothing exists, my problems don’t exist, and most importantly my epilepsy magically disappears for an hour.

I started to read up on yoga and where it originated.  From my findings it started in India and they found a relic that has an engraving of a position that is commonly used in yoga, the typical position where you sit and say uuummmm.  Then it moved on to the Buddhists.  I like that we have adapted yoga into all different cultures and I will say I’m glad they invented it to begin with because it helps a lot.

P.S. PLEASE KEEP MY BROTHER AND OTHERS IN BOSTON IN YOUR PRAYERS, AND THE PEOPLE IMPACTED BY THIS!!